First of all, let’s start with, what does it mean to be perfectionist? Perfectionism is a personality trait that some people have in which they are concerned with flawlessness and perfection. People with this trait can easily become critical of their work or the work of others. With social media so readily available to most people, it is easy to spot perfection or what might look like perfection in others. Because of these posts that are so carefully curated, people get confused and might be under the wrong impression that perfection is not only attainable, but it is also the norm. Social media also gives people the opportunity to share their life with others. So, when we see everyone out there crushing their goals and we are still in the same spot, we start to worry that something is seriously wrong with us. All these concerns, just because our life doesn’t look like the people that we follow on social media. 

When talking about perfectionism, people can be divided. On the one hand, the idea that someone is so meticulous in their job that they want to achieve perfection is a trait that is admired by many people. We would all like to be perfect and never make any mistakes. However, what price are we willing to pay for perfection? Perfectionism can be extremely detrimental not only for the person who has this personality trait, but also for those closest to the perfectionist person. When someone describes themselves as a perfectionist, that can also carry feelings of unworthiness or not being good enough. Perfectionist people are always striving not only to be the best, but to be perfect. For example, if a perfectionist gets a 99 on the exam, they are not satisfied because it wasn’t a 100.” So, they will focus on the fact that they weren’t perfect even if they got the highest grade out of the whole class. It is very hard to be around a perfectionist because the other person feels like they can never keep the perfectionist happy. Perfectionist people tend to find flaws in almost anything or are quick to point out mistakes not only in themselves but also in those around them. Also, a perfectionist always has a critic in their head telling them that whatever they do will never be good enough unless they are perfect.  

If you describe yourself as a perfectionist and would like to change, here are some steps that you can take to not be so hard on yourself and be able to enjoy life more. First, become aware of what perfectionism is costing you. Make a list of all the things you are experiencing because of living as a perfectionist. Once you realize the cost, you will be more motivated to make a change. Second, focus on the positive. When you are so used to looking for mistakes in your work or the work of others, it might be hard to see the positive. However, you can train yourself to spot the good things. There is so much beauty in imperfection. Third, change your self-talk. We all have that critic that is constantly telling us that our work is not good enough. Instead of believing your critic like you usually do, challenge that voice with something positive about your work. Eventually that voice will change or at least it won’t have the same effect on you. That inner critic can really affect your self-esteem and leave you feeling brittle. Fourth, take baby steps and know that this will take time. However, with enough practice, you can change your perfectionist attitude. You can do great work without being a perfectionist. Focus on becoming a high achiever where excellence is the goal instead of perfection.