What are boundaries? Boundaries are a set of instructions regarding what is acceptable and not acceptable. They are based on respect and assertiveness. When a person is able to establish healthy boundaries in their relationships, they can form deeper connections that are based on trust and respect. Why are boundaries so important? Boundaries let people know how others would like to be treated. When people don’t have a clear idea of their boundaries, they can easily be swayed by what others want, even if this goes against what the person believes. Boundaries help people to ask for what they need without feeling bad about it.  

People who have people-pleasing behaviors might struggle to establish boundaries with others. If they want to be liked, they might compromise their values just so they can be accepted by the majority. This can create an identity problem and leave the person feeling empty inside. It is nice to be invited to things or feel like you are part of a group but at what cost.  

Boundaries are hard to establish especially when it comes to people who are close to you or people who are in a position of power. Family, friends, or a significant other might not like some of the changes that the person is making in their life, so they might challenge those limits. However, it is important for each person to decide how they want to be treated. If the other person continues to challenge those boundaries, it is good to ask yourself if they need to stay in your life. 

It is not right to accommodate at your expense if your values are being walked all over. A person who establishes boundaries knows their worth and is willing to stand on their own two feet knowing that some people will accept it and some people won’t. Not everyone will be part of your group and that is alright. The people who truly care about you will respect your boundaries and honor them, not try to make you feel bad about them. It is your right to be treated with respect. Remember that you set an example for others on how you would like to be treated. Boundaries are a great way to exercise that right!