What is trust and why is trust so important in relationships?  Trust is the firm belief in the reliability of someone or something. To trust someone means that you believe they are telling you the truth. Their words have value to you. They say trust and communication are essential in relationships. Especially when you are trying to build new friendships or a new relationship with a significant other. 

When you are starting a new relationship, fear might come in. You might start wondering if you will be able to trust this new person. If you have had bad experiences in the past with people betraying your trust, it might be more difficult to open up and let people in. Especially if the old wounds have not healed completely. The fear of getting hurt or someone letting you down again might prevent you from starting something new. To trust someone means to be vulnerable in front of them. This can feel very scary.  

Some of the things that you can do to build trust in your new relationship is first, take things really slow. You don’t have to tell this new person everything about your life on the first day. Sometimes we get really excited when we meet new people. We want to share everything about ourselves. However, this might actually be counterproductive and can make the other person feel overwhelmed with all this new information. As time goes on, there will be more conversations and shared experiences that will help to build that trust. As you get to know this new person, start by telling them a few personal things about yourself. See how they take this information and if they are able to keep it.  

As you get to know this new person, there might be some misunderstandings. It is important to address them. When someone does or says something hurtful, address the issue. It can feel scary bringing things up, but it is necessary for the other person to know, or they will continue doing that hurtful thing without them realizing it. When having these kinds of conversations, it is a good idea to use “I” statements to express how you feel to the other person. They might react in two different ways. The first way that they could react is to apologize for their words or actions and say that they will change their behavior. A different way that they could react is to get defensive and start raising their voice at you. Saying things like this is just the way I am, or sorry that you took it that way. I apologize but…From this you can deduce that this person is not willing to work with you.  People can stay respectful regardless of their difference of opinion. This can feel very disappointing especially if you care for the person deeply. However, not all relationships will work out and that is alright. Remember that trust is earned and should not be taken for granted. Once it is broken, it is really hard to get it back.