Now that we have explored intrapersonal mindfulness in the past blogs, it is time to move on to interpersonal mindfulness. This means bringing awareness to the present moment in a nonjudgmental way while relating to others. Most of us interact with people on a daily basis. Whether that be coworkers, family members, or even strangers on the street, it is sometimes hard to be on your own for long periods of time. As humans we have many things in common, especially the experience of being a human. However, people can also be different in many ways. When interacting with others, people can sometimes be irrational, frustrating, irresponsible, and many other things. Sometimes the people closest to us are the ones that cause the most stress because we care more deeply about them, or they just know how to push our buttons since they know us so well. 

The way we relate to others in our current relationships is very much influenced by our childhood experiences. For example, if the child’s parents were not emotionally available because they were trying to fix their own problems, the child might grow up believing that emotions are not important and that they can’t trust other people to help them. They will keep people at a distance and run from those who get too emotional. As we grow up, we learn how to resolve conflict from our previous interactions with others. If the person did not have a good childhood, no need to worry, there is still hope.  Interpersonal mindfulness helps people become more aware of their interactions. They recognize patterns and can then decide whether the tools they are using in their current relationships are helpful or not. By stopping and looking inside, people are able to be more patient and empathetic not only towards themselves but towards other people. In turn, this makes people wiser. Being more mindful helps improve relationships.   

There are several qualities that are important when it comes to interpersonal mindfulness. Those qualities are openness, empathy, compassion, loving-kindness, sympathetic joy, and equanimity. When describing openness, this means being able to see things from another person’s point of view while they are saying something. You are open to seeing the relationship as something new without judgement. What they are saying is one alternative to the many out there including your own.  

Empathy means putting yourself in the other person’s shoes.  Being emotionally sensitive to what the other person is feeling.  Empathy means staying with someone even if no one is talking. Just being there is comforting enough for the other person.  

Compassion means being able to treat others kindly, understanding that along the way, we have all experienced pain and suffering at some point in our lives. When showing compassion, empathy needs to be present. Believing that people are just trying to do their best.  

Loving-kindness means wishing someone else well. It is hoping that they will have what they need whether that is health, safety, among other things. That whatever they do, it comes to fruition.  

Sympathetic Joy is being genuinely happy when good things happen to other people. Understanding that someone else doing well doesn’t diminish your worth in any way. There is no jealousy, envy, or competition. People can still feel good when other people are doing well even if their own circumstances are not ideal.  

Finally, equanimity means that all of us are worth the same and we all deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. We are all worthy, regardless of our background, appearance, or financial status.  

By practicing these qualities, people can have healthier and more fulfilling relationships with others. Try to practice these qualities as much as possible and see if you notice any changes in your interactions or even within yourself. Remember, if nothing changes nothing changes.  

For more information, please check the following resource.  

Stahl, B., & Goldstein, E. (2019). A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook. New Harbinger Publications, Inc.