Self-kindness is treating yourself with care and understanding. Sometimes it feels like it is so much easier to be kind to others, than to be kind to ourselves. We can see faults in others and forgive them much quicker than we can forgive shortcomings in ourselves. When we make a mistake, it is easy to call ourselves all kinds of negative names. Sometimes we do it as a way to punish ourselves in hopes that we won’t make the same mistake again.  

We have all heard that it is important to talk kindly to others. That if you don’t have something nice to say, to not say anything at all. It is important to remember that we also need to speak kindly to ourselves. Like we are talking to the most important person in our life, because we are! When we are so used to saying mean things to ourselves, we have to be intentional about changing that internal chatter into something more positive. We have to choose not to be hard on ourselves. But instead, extend kindness since we are all doing the best we can with the tools that we have at the moment.  

Sometimes we feel disappointed when we make a plan, and we don’t follow through. Like telling yourself that you will wake up early the next day so you can be extra productive and instead sleep through all your alarms. It is hard not to feel like you let yourself down and that you will never get it right. To go into that pessimistic state of mind where it leaves you feeling defeated and alone. That’s when the blaming starts so you end up feeling worse. However, if you continue down this path, you will only end up feeling worse than when you started. Blaming yourself does not make you feel better or improve your self-esteem.  

The best thing to do when things don’t go according to plan is to first take a deep breath or maybe a few deep breaths. Second, accept the things that you cannot change. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Acknowledge that you missed the mark and didn’t meet your goal. Forgive yourself genuinely.  See the things that you need to change so next time you will be successful. Next, tell yourself that next time things will go better. Last, try again once you have gathered more information.  

Remember that we all make mistakes, and we can learn valuable lessons from those mistakes. The kinder you are with yourself, the more inner peace you will feel within yourself and the stronger and more resilient individual you will become. We are all constantly growing and changing, and we will make mistakes along the way. Regardless of your mistakes, you are deserving of the same compassion and kindness that you extend to others. Kindness is a must to living a happier and more fulfilling life!